The Art of Active Listening

By Heidi Priebe Student Cuffing Ear

Sometimes there’s no greater gift you can give someone than offering a sympathetic ear.

A recent Student Health 101 survey indicates that almost 50 percent of students just want to be listened to during times of distress. Sometimes what people need most is the opportunity to talk. So how can you demonstrate that you’re really hearing what other people say?

Dan has learned to be an attentive listener. (MP4)

Listen Carefully

Active listening refers to the goal of truly understanding what someone says. Facilitating a conversation where the speaker feels heard is a crucial part of good communication. “You can tell when someone is [actually] listening to you and not just waiting for his or her turn to speak,” says Heather T., a second-year student at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario. “It allows for a more genuine conversation.”

Dean M., a student at the University of Ontario Institute of Technology in Oshawa, suggests, “If you care about someone, show it.” Here are some basic techniques:

Allow silence in your conversations so the speaker has time to reflect.
Ask open-ended questions. These lead to more descriptive answers, rather than just a “yes” or “no.”
Paraphrase the speaker’s words to show that you’re listening and to confirm that you understand what he or she is saying.
Summarize the conversation. This again serves as validation for the speaker and an opportunity to clarify anything you’ve misunderstood.

Lydia shares her perspective as an international student. (MP4)

What Your Body Says

In the recent Student Health 101 survey, 20 percent of respondents ranked eye contact as the most important part of a conversation.

Hilary S., a fourth-year student at the University of Guelph in Ontario, agrees that your body conveys your attentiveness. She says, “Showing that you’re listening has a lot to do with your body language.”

The Centre for Teaching Excellence at the University of Waterloo in Ontario emphasizes the importance of body language in active listening. Try using the strategies below:

Keep your posture open by uncrossing legs and arms.
Remove physical barriers between you and the speaker.
Lean toward the speaker (slightly) to display interest in what he or she is saying.
Maintain eye contact.
Nod silently to show agreement or encouragement.

Do you know how to read body language and facial expressions? Take a quiz.

Increase Understanding

Effective communication combines welcoming body language with active listening skills. Practicing these helps ensure that not only do the people you speak with feel heard, but also that you get the most from conversations.

Heidi is a senior studying psychology at the University of Guelph.

Active Listening Techniques

*Nonverbal Encouragement*	Purpose Let the speaker know you’re listening without the need to interrupt. Provide silent validation of the speaker’s feelings. Examples Leaning in Maintaining eye contact
*Clarification*	Purpose Confirm the listener accurately understands what’s being said. Offers the speaker an opportunity to correct any misunderstandings. Examples “It sounds like you’re feeling…” “What I hear you saying is…” “…Am I understanding correctly?”
*Paraphrasing*	Purpose Demonstrates careful listening without parroting back what the speaker said. Allows the speaker to hear what they’ve said. This may prompt clarification. Examples “So what I think I hear you saying is…” “I understand that…” “It seems like you…”
*Summarizing*	Purpose Pulls together the discussion’s main ideas. Creates a shared basis for future discussion and/or action. Examples “It sounds like the main issues are…” “The things you’d like to have happen are…”